Introduction
A current case in the US has prompted us to introduce the topic of domestic violence on this site. Laws and social conventions about dealing with Domestic Violence are very much the same throughout the western world. Domestic Violence, the social norms, laws and customs is a huge topic for this site, and we will dedicate several posts to understanding what it is and why it is very broken and misguided, especially in Trinidad & Tobago. We will not present any sources of for our assertions at this point as this is just an introduction and these issues will be discussed in greater detail in upcoming posts.
The Story
Justin Lindsey of Beaver County, Pennsylvania was locked up by police for the past week and is facing charges of harassment and assault. But according to news reports the man tried to provide evidence that it was his ex-girlfriend – Rhameicka Clark, who was the perp. The woman showed up on Lindsey’s porch and started an altercation. She proceed to batter him with a metal pipe which Lindsey was capturing on his phone. All of the material on the video indicate that the woman was the perp. Clark was angry because Lindsey had visitation with their daughter and was in the company with another woman, to Clark’s annoyance. Clark subsequently went to the police and a 24-hour magistrates that handle these protection orders and had Lindsey arrested. Lindsey told the police that she was the perp and had video evidence to prove it but they refused to watch the video.
Similar to Trinidad & Tobago
While this case is based in the US – it mirrors a common occurrence in Trinidad & Tobago. A woman you are no longer involved with decides to use the Law (that’s squarely on her side) to punish you. In this case the woman shows up at his residence and starts to abuse him verbally, physically using a metal pipe and she spat on him. There were witnesses that corroborated, there was video. But the man remains locked up in jail for a week and risks loosing his job. Is the system that deals with Domestic Violence broken? In Trinidad & Tobago a person (read, a woman) can go to a Clerk of the Peace and obtain a restraining order and have it served on her partner, ex, or any man she deems a ‘threat’ to her. According to the Laws of Trinidad & Tobago Chapter 45:56 you can be deemed ‘abusive’ (which can include – mental, verbal, physical, sexual, financial, emotional or psychological) or that once she is satisfied “undermines her emotional or mental well-being”. The scope of these behaviors are extremely wide and subjective and it appears that all that is necessary is for her to feel abused, or even worse, falsely claim that she was beaten. While Chapter 45:56 doesn’t appear to have any sexist language on the surface, let’s get something clear here. This is a law written for women to use against men. This is why there needs to be reform and a gender neutral approach taken to this matter. This is why acts like Chapter 45:56 may be the reason we have a domestic violence problem in the first place.
Cause of Domestic Violence
Another axis of the problem has to do with social norms. Our culture is programmed to ignore violence by women. Many women actually support women who are violent as though it’s a good thing, sometimes with that tribal “you go gurl” mantra. Several simple social experiments illustrate our indifference toward female violence (see links in reference). Some women are completely unapologetic as though it’s their time and see it as a sort of entitled feminist right – the right to be violent. Further exacerbating the problem is the injudicious policy that women receive significant leniency in the judicial system or are not charged at all when they are abusive. And like in the case above, the man has to prove that he wasn’t abusive. It is this author’s view based on the many stories heard that many magistrates in Trinidad might latently support these wrongs.
The idea that domestic violence is a crime committed by men, causes us to completely ignore the problem even in the face of a huge body of research that contradicts this paradigm. Our Ministry of Gender, Psychologists, and Researchers in academic institutions, know that women are not innocent victims. This is ignored by stakeholders possibly due to confirmation bias. Psychological scientists say that once we have a perception, we hold fast to them, and that makes it harder to change our minds. We look for only evidence that support our beliefs. Political affiliations are great examples of this in Trinidad & Tobago. (there is a good article on this in the References).
Role of Female Violence
This is not a Trinidad & Tobago Problem, but a common issue throughout western countries. We will present unbiased (not influenced by feminist dogma) that gets to the bottom of what domestic violence is about. To do this we have to use data and research conducted outside Trinidad & Tobago. Why? Because we have no reliable information on the prevalence of domestic violence – none. It’s unreliable because much of the studies and information we have in Trinidad & Tobago are based on the assumption that domestic violence is a gendered issue where men beat up women. Other than the sensationalist stories we read about every now and again we have no reason to believe that this is the norm. We cannot rely on data based on police reports either. What all of these have in common, is a systematic ban on considering female behaviors which we know can be quite violent. We know that women are particularly violent toward children in Trinidad and Tobago, this was even admitted by Minister of Gender, Youth and Child Development, Clifton De Coteau. More needs to be understood where it relates to increasing violence toward boys growing up with increased female contact – be it single mothers, care givers, day care, pre and primary school teachers – all significant foundation years for healthy child development – and almost exclusively run by women.
Over the past several decades we have systematically removed men from these fields – I say removed because they have become hostile and even risky for them to participate. Compound this with the fact that men now do significantly more house and child care work in the home over the past few decades especially in the middle and upper middle class. The advent of increasingly educated and gainfully employed women have even led to so called ‘house husbands’, where dad stay home with the kids. Increasing trends in divorce and children growing up without contact with fathers and the proliferation of the policies of the Family Court, run by feminist women and increasingly serve as places for women to get revenge, have further separated children from fathers.
This trend of increasing violent young males particularly in segments of society where care givers are all female for boys under 8 must have an underlying effect. Female violence is not an insignificant component of this equation – in fact it might be the cause. There are some studies that we will present in a later post. But more research is needed and there is much resistance in illuminating this. Our feminized system of education and politics abhors any responsibilities on women for negative outcomes in our society.
We have been told over and over that men are the problem, we are the perpetrators of violence. Feminists trumpet this at any opportunity they get. What does the science say about this? We look forward to this discussion. If you have anything you’d like add, a story, an experience, especially if you are a man who was wrongfully accused of domestic violence in Trinidad & Tobago, you can send it privately via the contact form. Would you like your story published here? Any information will be held in strictest confidence and completely anonymous. Please use this form:
References
- She Was Caught on Camera Beating Him with a Metal Pole, but He’s the One in Jail after Cops ‘Refused to Look at the Video: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/08/30/she-was-caught-on-camera-beating-him-with-a-metal-pole-but-hes-the-one-in-jail-after-cops-refused-to-look-at-the-video/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=story&utm_campaign=ShareButtons
- Judiciary of Trinidad & Tobago – Domestic Violence : http://www.ttlawcourts.org/index.php/public-guidance/faqs/magistrates-court/domestic-violence
- Laws of Trinidad & Tobago Chapter 45:56: http://rgd.legalaffairs.gov.tt/laws2/alphabetical_list/lawspdfs/45.56.pdf
- Why Do Women Do the Lion’s Share of Housework? A Decade of Research http://irasilver.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Reading-Second-shift-inequality.pdf
- Jezebel – Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have: http://jezebel.com/294383/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have
- ABC What Would you do? Reaction To Women Abusing Men In Public: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRCS6GGhIRc
- The True Activist – Attitudes toward Domestic Violence: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy5vRGtKPY0
- Psychology Today – The Real Reason We Believe What We Believe: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brainsnacks/201404/the-real-reason-we-believe-what-we-believe
Men Against Feminism - Trinidad & Tobago 